Youre in the middle of negotiations with a prospective client and your first impulse is to run to answer any and all of his phone calls.

But check that.

You may be better advised to let his call drift into your voice mail system.

Dont get me wrong; youre not playing hard to get, and youre not looking to score inaccessibility points.

The reason is you want to receive a voice mail is to assess his seriousness, his neediness, his desperation, or his blas detachment.

Voice mail is a channel into his soul, a record of his secret desires and intentions, and it is stunning how much you can learn from it.

But first, lets review a very important principle propounded by sociologist, Erving Goffman. There are expressions given and expressions given-off.

The former are those messages that we deliberately send to another. For example, we might articulate our words fully, in an effort to say, Im intelligent or Im sharp, and therefore, you should find me a credible and believable source.

But there are the other messages, too: expressions given-off. These are the cues and clues that we give away, usually without knowing it. Our slightly frayed collars or worn shoes may send a statement to the eagle-eyed that were not as successful as we claim to be.

Over the phone, a breathless quality can denote impulsiveness or eagerness, or excitement about your offer, despite the fact that the words being used are less enthusiastic.

You may not catch these expressions given-off the first time. In fact, I guarantee that youll hear new things every time you listen, significant things, for at least the first five repetitions.

So, never jettison the message after hearing the content once, unless it is truly perfunctory. If you want to uncover the hidden meanings, go back to it, later

I suggest you store it and replay it two or three hours later, when you have the patience to really hear whats there.

If youre in business, seize every advantage thats available, and this is one of them that will really pay off for you!