So many parents today obsess over preparing their children for school. It is easy to get caught up comparing our children with their peers for strengths and weaknesses, reading into the media blitz on how schools are more rigorous these days than in our times, or simply wanting, with only the best of intentions, to enrich and challenge them to the fullest extent imaginable. While we all want our children to have successful school experiences, many of us miss the boat on what is most important. Simply instilling a life long love of learning will serve a child much better than memorizing letters, numbers, colors and shapes at rote speed. Education is far more than reading, writing, and arithmetic. Education occurs in everyday life experiences for our children, not just in a classroom. Even if you are in a position and have the motivation to send your children to the best quality schools imaginable, supplementing and teaching children at home should be a top priority. Todays parents are faced with many obstacles and challenges when it comes to facilitating the learning of our children. On one hand, there has never been more to choose from in books regarding parenting theory, or educational skill development. I applaud our society for valuing children and making products, books, knowledge readily available and fostering little minds. Admittedly, Im sucker for many of these products and I have an extensive library of parenting books. I love that we have such a focus on child safety, more conclusive research on how to feed our children proper diets, and support for enriching activities such as childrens museums, library story times, art, music, and movement classes, and boundless other recreational choices for our kids. Yet, I worry about todays children. The more our society seems to value children, the more we are seeing negative consequences of what many social scientists are calling helicopter parenting. Many of these children are growing up with the inability to think for or assert themselves. They havent learned to deal with lifes natural disappointments or inequalities. They know how to perform in a structured educational environment, but are less likely to think analytically or challenge authority. I know I want several things for my son. I want him to make good grades, have the opportunities of being accepted in a good college, and the abilities to have career success. Yet, I feel more importantly, it is my job to instill a motivation in him to want to learn things. I want him to feel free and open to ask questions, to seek answers, to truly be able to analyze materials, and to think outside the box. I want to show him how much fun learning can beeven learning geometry. I believe in child led learning. However, I feel child led learning is challenging to implement. Even these few precious years that I have him at home, without influence of any organized schooling, there is always a struggle to find balance. To provide him with stimulating activities, toys, books, and television that will challenge him but not make him feel like a failure if they are over his head. I sometimes have to remind myself to watch him for little clues that I am a step in the right direction. Is he enjoying the activity or is he feeling overwhelmed? Does he need more challenge in this area? It doesnt matter if the child next door works puzzles from dusk to dawn if my son isnt that interested in puzzles, but my son loves manipulative toys and can spend hours putting together castles with blocks so I need to focus more on those. Many parents are unmotivated to allow their kids art time because of the mess. However, it is these early scribbles and paintings that are setting the stage for later years of handwriting and creativity. I see many parents who do not enjoy reading to their children, yet there are tremendous amounts of research showing many benefits of reading, daily, to our children. As parents, its important to work with our children as partners when it comes to learning. I may plan a fun day at the museum for my child, but if he only wants to visit one area of the museum, I need to be willing to allow him that choice. Again, balance is the challenge. I am a person who has high expectations of me as a parent and of my childrens abilities and accomplishments, but I do remind myself daily that Rome wasnt built in a day. Taking time out (or allowing for time to be taken out) to smell the flowers sometimes yields the greatest learning experiences I can give my son. |
