It seems natural to use the turning of the year to take stock of life to consider what could be different in the coming year. Many of us make resolutions that focus on something that is wrong with us. This resolution-making is also loaded with guilt, because if you dont achieve what you set out to do, you can feel a sense of failure. As we sit at this transitional point, I want to offer you a different approach to making your resolutions. Instead of simply focusing on one problem you want to fix, what would happen if you could look at your life in a holistic manner? What changes would seem most important if you evaluated with an eye toward increasing balance and clarity. What successes would you celebrate? Would you find areas of your life that you are neglecting? Rather than simply focusing on getting up early to exercise or losing those 15 pounds, take this opportunity to think about the life you would like to have and take steps to begin to live into that life. Start by looking at your life in terms of broad aspects or categories. Here are some examples: Physical Environment, Career, Money, Health, Relationships, Personal Growth, Fun and Recreation, Emotional Balance. These are aspects that contribute to your overall sense of well-being and also can influence your health both emotionally and physically. Feel free to add categories that seem most relevant to you. Next, ask yourself, What am I doing in each area that helps me live the life I want to live? You list might look like this: Physical environment I clean off my desk at the end of the day I have enough light to do my work I live in an apartment that I loveMoney I save 10 % of my income I contribute regularly to my retirement plan I pay my bills on timeRelationships I tell my partner I love you every day I dont gossip I return letters, emails and phone calls promptlyNotice if some of your categories have only a few items while others have many things listed. This gives you some feedback on parts of yourself that you may be neglecting. Now, look at these categories and ask, What could I be doing to make my life the way I want it to be? What qualities of a full and meaningful life do you want to include in your list? These are things you arent doing yet, but that you value and want to work toward. For example: Physical Environment I recycle regularly I keep my garden weeded and watered My closet is tidy and invitingMoney I have enough in savings to live for 6 months I have a budget for my expenses and I stick to it I contribute time and/or money to charity on a regular basisRelationships I call my parents weekly I can ask for what I want and/or need I spend some down-time with friends regularlyTry to add small changes as well as large ones, it will help you see success sooner and keep you motivated. In starting with the big picture, you gain a vision of where you want your life to be and what steps you can take in order to make that happen. You now have some concrete feedback on what you can do to improve your life. As you begin to make changes, you will know that you are working toward your goal. What if you really do want to lose 15 pounds or start a regular exercise program? Go back to your categories and add the steps needed to make those changes happen. For example: Physical environment I keep healthful foods in the house I allow myself an occasional treat I subscribe to a health magazineHealth My weight is within a healthy range My blood pressure is lower I drink plenty of water to keep my body healthyFun & Recreation I have a CD player or I-Pod to help with my workouts I invite friends to go walking with me I play outside with my kidsYou have just taken your goal of losing 15 lbs and made it concrete. You have actions that you can see and measure. And, you are working on your goal from a variety of perspectives, rather than just focusing on the number on the scale. By making small changes in a variety of areas, you will be more likely to achieve your goals. You will have the opportunity to celebrate your successes more often, and, know that you are working toward living the life you want to live. 2006 Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCC - All Rights Reserved Worldwide. |
